Lack of self-esteem can be a debilitating problem. It actually hampers one’s potential to be successful or even achieving one’s dreams or in some cases, even hampers the ability to dream big. People with low self-worth often get into self-destructive relationships. There are many reasons why people lose their self-esteem.
Mostly, this is caused by external factors such as society and our family relations or the manner we were brought up. The media also plays a vital role in developing self-esteem as it still has the capacity to provide the greatest influence on people.
Each one of us is exposed to media and these advertisements (such as commercials, billboards, ads, etc) often cram our minds with what beauty and therefore acceptance is all about. We tend to compare ourselves to their bench mark of what is acceptable to society and if we feel we don’t measure up to their criteria, we feel bad about ourselves. When this happens, we can end up with low self-esteem issues.
As a young child, many of us never really cared about what was or wasn’t acceptable to society. We said what we wanted to say, did what we wanted to do, dressed up with whatever clothes we choose to dress ourselves up in and looked the way we want to look. It didn’t matter to us then what shapes our noses were, what color our skins was or whether we were thin or not.
In other words, we created our own society. We never really cared about what people thought. But somehow, as we grow older, we learn to seek acceptance and even approval from the people that surround us. If we don’t get this approval, then our issues with self-esteem can become a problem.
Self-esteem development starts in childhood
It’s parents’ responsibility to make their children feel special and loved unconditionally. And contrary to scolding the child for doing something wrong, it would help if we engage him or her in the task of solving their own problems. Don’t merely tell them what to do, help them decide on what they think is best for them. This helps the child cultivate a sense of responsibility and control over his life. These traits are essential in developing self-esteem.
A parent should also concentrate on the positive traits of his or her child. It is given that every one of us has our own good and bad sides, but focusing on the positive will encourage the child to bring out that trait more often. This practice can also be applied to adults. Focus on their good traits and in time, they will learn to bring that out more often.
Also, one of the things a parent should remember is to never, never compare siblings. Treat each child as an individual and focus on their strengths. Comparing siblings to one another will only succeed in bringing out the best in one child and the worst in the other. If the other sibling feels that he or she can’t measure up to their sibling, eventually he or she will give up and take on the role of the difficult child.
Lastly, train your children to love themselves by making them feel loved. Avoid judging for their mistakes, instead, ask them what they could do differently in the future to avoid it. This will give them the feeling that they are trusted. The more a child feels trusted, the higher his or her regard for his or herself will be which will build their self esteem.