There is much talk these days about what is the best way to build self confidence. And it seems that everyone has a differing opinion. One thing that seems certain is that you shouldn’t develop your own feeling about yourself on the basis of what other people have to say about you.
Our self confidence in other words needs to be derived from within. Whenever we base how we feel about ourself on the opinion of others that sense of self gets shattered and blurred every time someone doesn’t approve of what we do. And along with it goes our confidence in ourself. And the worst part of all is that our self confidence fluctuates due to the whims and fancy of someone different all the time.
For example let’s say that you have just completed a project and your feeling confident that you have done a good job. You ask your wife to take a look and she says she thinks it’s great. Now, your self confidence soars. When you stop by your friends house, he has a look and starts pointing out lots of places where he thinks it needs improving.
Now, your confidence is heading lower by the minute, so you decide to ask another couple of friends for their opinion. One finds it great while the other thinks that you’re totally on the wrong track. After all of this, you end up so confused that you scrap the project altogether and decide to just forget about doing anything. And your self confidence is no confidence at all.
Now whose opinion should you have trusted?
How about your own!
If you want to build self confidence that will last a lifetime it must come from within
Once you put the power of your self confidence outside yourself, you become immobilized by other peoples opinions. Every person on earth is going to see you and your accomplishment through their own eyes. When you build self confidence based on your own self and your own opinions no one can shatter it or take it away from you.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t ask others for their opinion on things but we must then rely on our own sense of self and our own confidence to make the best judgment for ourself, not base it on these differing opinions from others.
Now, consider what would happen if the people that we count on for our self confidence really don’t have our best interest in mind. There are those people out there that put people down just so they can feel better about their self. If you’re basing your sense of self confidence on what they have to say about you, your indeed in trouble. And the worst part of all is that these people aren’t always easy to spot. They may in fact disguise themselves as our best friends.
If you find yourself counting on the opinions of others for your sense of confidence, than you do need to do some work in order to build self confidence that comes from within yourself. That is what true self confidence is and it’s something that once you develop it, you will have it for the rest of your life.